Learning never stops. If you are not growing and learning you are either dormant or you are dying. Many times we come to a state of dormancy, where we seem to stay for a while, and that is okay. But we must be careful in that state not to drift into the wake of death which can happen without our realizing it.
My struggle with the teachings of the organized church has led me to times of feeling completely lost and as though I knew absolutely nothing. At times I felt I must be completely ignorant or possibly deceived, but never satisfied and truly wanting answers.
My search has brought me full circle to a time in my life when I realized that church is supposed to be an expression of our Creator’s heart for those He created, not a lifeless meeting where one person shares their learning and growth and everyone else just sits and marvels at how much that one person enjoys or knows, but never really participates, nor even sees themselves as being able to get there. It is also supposed to be something that is alive, breathing, relating to the Creator, living in dialogue as well as taking care of business, getting things done, meeting the needs of people, providing a safe and healing place for those in need. And most importantly, I am the church, it is not a place that you attend, it is your life.
I realize now that my purpose in the earth is to just be an outward expression of a somewhat invisibile God. Because He is only invisible until you learn how to see. And yes, though our physical eyes just do their job, our spiritual eyes do not. There is a spiritual set of senses that can be used as adeptly as the physical ones, possibly even more; and that is what I am supposed to do. Learn how to use mine, and show others how to use theirs.
There was a time years ago that I sat around a table with friends sharing in the stories that we had heard from what we considered great prophets, and/or leaders in the church. But though I had done that many times before, this night was different. This time as the conversation continued and I heard story after wonderful story, I became more and more agitated and even angry. Finally, I reached a point that I couldn’t take it anymore. I slammed my hand down on the table startling everyone and almost shouted, “Enough! I am sick of hearing all these great things that have happened to other people. I want my own experiences and my own stories to tell of what has happened to me, what I have seen God do!”
Here I am years later with my own experiences and many wonderful stories of what God has done in my life, through my life, and in others that I have been able to witness. If you want to, also, let’s talk about it.
